I was standing doing my hair today wondering where I went wrong in life. How come I'm working my ass off trying to find a job, take care of a home, take care of my kids (who most days hate me), and take care of myself? Which the later seems to be sorely losing out. Honestly! Did I make a mistake in college when I chose a Business degree that focused on Advertising and Graphic Arts? Did I make a mistake when I opted not to pose for Playboy when they were at my college campus? Did I make a mistake when I thought having kids would fix my troubled marriage? Did I make a mistake when I chose to stay home and be a full time parent for my kids? or did I make the biggest mistake of all and not get into reality TV?????
Seriously! Out of all the poor decisions I've made in the last 20 years, I can honestly say I most regret not getting a degree in Bayou Gator Hunting, being Hugh Heffner's 20 year old girl friend, signing up for Dave & Julie Plus 5, or selling out my kid's tantrums to some ridiculous dance show, nanny show, or talent show!!! I want to know exactly what Sharon Osborn wants to do for Honey Boo Boo. Give her money for a college education??? Make her a talent star because she's an over weight mouthy little girl?? What??
I want to know what the rest of the hard working people around the world did wrong that they don't make $300k AN EPISODE for drinking, smoking, swearing, tanning, and sleeping with every warm willing body! I want to know why I wasn't born a red neck!!!! Look at all the GREAT vacations they go on!!! The Hamptons and Europe! I want to go there! Oh wait I can't...because I'm an "average" American trying to find a job so that my "real" children can eat and continue to have a roof over their head.
Why wasn't I born extremely wealthy? or marry someone extremely wealthy so that I can throw my 12 year old daughter a birthday party, where ALL the guests are required to bring a gift totalling more than most people make in a month. Then belittle and berate all my staff because the money I have is an entitlement, not something I worked really hard for.
Better yet!!! Why wasn't I born a gifted athlete who wins the hearts, admiration, and respect of millions? Only to believe I'm invincible to the laws. OOOOOhhhh even one better than a professional athlete? A politician!!!! Sooooo above the law! I could have been a crook, a murderer, an adulterer, or a rapist and gotten away with ALL of it! Why? because I'm a politician.
I'm just completely sick of all the job opportunities I've passed up in the last few years. Clearly there were some good ones! Clearly ones where I wouldn't have to have ANY regard for hard work and self respect. Ones that teach my children about the easy road in life. Ones that don't require any of life's skills. Ones where I don't even have to speak clear English! Ones that destroy my loved ones trust, honesty and self worth. Ones that DON'T represent everything I was raised to believe. I don't want the easy road. I just want a job that pays a few bills. I don't want to be any one's boss. I just want to go to work, do my job, come home, and boss around my five kids. I'm not asking for much. Just a chance. I suppose I can always resort to gator hunting if all else fails.....food for the kids and a new belt and shoes for Mama! Win win for everyone!
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Some Days Suck
Waa, waa, waa...I know, I know, we all have our problems. Some just seem worse than others. And some days just totally suck. I try very hard to stay positive and I try very hard to make sure the glass is always half full. But, having to be the bad guy, or in my case, the meanest mom in town, just blows.
Whoever said kids suck the life out of you, wasn't kidding. That's exactly what they do! They take your life and your wallet without a blink of an eye. After my son got through telling me I was a horrible mother because I wouldn't spend 99 cents on ANOTHER video game for him, my daughter came after me because I told her she couldn't go away for the weekend due to too much homework. My other son had to remind me that it was ALL my fault that no one was home to play. And my other two daughters were mad at me because I made them sit and eat a healthy meal before they could play with their friend. I'm so mean right???
I honestly don't EVER remember being that mean to my mom. Sure I remember being disappointed because I couldn't do EVERYTHING I wanted and being pissed off because I couldn't have the rainbow shirt ALL my friends had. But I never talked to my mom the way my kids talk to me. Like the world owes them. Like they deserve to have EVERYTHING. It's disgusting really. Deep down it makes me wonder if I did something to create this? Or can I blame all their friends that DO get everything and tease my kids because they don't have the latest and greatest new toy? Or can I blame all the ridiculous TV ads for pushing all the new technology my kids THINK they need? I don't know the answer. I really don't. What I do know is that I'm the meanest mom ever because I don't always give in.
As I listened to my friend yesterday, I am reminded that things can always be worse. She has to be one of the kindest, most giving people I know. She is one of those people who literally has nothing, yet would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. She is one in a million. More people should be like her! My kids should be like her! I just feel for her. Like many families, they are struggling every month just to get by. She works and her husband works two jobs. Yet it's just not enough. She is absolutely someone I wish would win the lottery or fall into a pool of money. Why? Because it's people like her that need a little luck. Why is it that those who can potentially squander good fortune do? and those that truly need it are eternally grateful and use it wisely? Again, answers I can't wrap my head around. I just hate knowing that those of us who work really hard to keep what we have, get the short end of the stick. We have to beg, borrow and plead just to keep our heads afloat.
Recently, I have been slapped in the face with the reality of job hunting. It is clearly a world of who you know, not what you know. In the last month and a half I have applied to almost 50 jobs. No one has responded. I am thoroughly discouraged. So yes, I have to remind myself that things could be worse. Some days do suck. I am mean because I'm trying to make my kids appreciate what they already have. And I am reminded daily that with a little hope, patience, and luck things ALWAYS work out. Some times we just have to go through hell to get to happiness.
Whoever said kids suck the life out of you, wasn't kidding. That's exactly what they do! They take your life and your wallet without a blink of an eye. After my son got through telling me I was a horrible mother because I wouldn't spend 99 cents on ANOTHER video game for him, my daughter came after me because I told her she couldn't go away for the weekend due to too much homework. My other son had to remind me that it was ALL my fault that no one was home to play. And my other two daughters were mad at me because I made them sit and eat a healthy meal before they could play with their friend. I'm so mean right???
I honestly don't EVER remember being that mean to my mom. Sure I remember being disappointed because I couldn't do EVERYTHING I wanted and being pissed off because I couldn't have the rainbow shirt ALL my friends had. But I never talked to my mom the way my kids talk to me. Like the world owes them. Like they deserve to have EVERYTHING. It's disgusting really. Deep down it makes me wonder if I did something to create this? Or can I blame all their friends that DO get everything and tease my kids because they don't have the latest and greatest new toy? Or can I blame all the ridiculous TV ads for pushing all the new technology my kids THINK they need? I don't know the answer. I really don't. What I do know is that I'm the meanest mom ever because I don't always give in.
As I listened to my friend yesterday, I am reminded that things can always be worse. She has to be one of the kindest, most giving people I know. She is one of those people who literally has nothing, yet would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. She is one in a million. More people should be like her! My kids should be like her! I just feel for her. Like many families, they are struggling every month just to get by. She works and her husband works two jobs. Yet it's just not enough. She is absolutely someone I wish would win the lottery or fall into a pool of money. Why? Because it's people like her that need a little luck. Why is it that those who can potentially squander good fortune do? and those that truly need it are eternally grateful and use it wisely? Again, answers I can't wrap my head around. I just hate knowing that those of us who work really hard to keep what we have, get the short end of the stick. We have to beg, borrow and plead just to keep our heads afloat.
Recently, I have been slapped in the face with the reality of job hunting. It is clearly a world of who you know, not what you know. In the last month and a half I have applied to almost 50 jobs. No one has responded. I am thoroughly discouraged. So yes, I have to remind myself that things could be worse. Some days do suck. I am mean because I'm trying to make my kids appreciate what they already have. And I am reminded daily that with a little hope, patience, and luck things ALWAYS work out. Some times we just have to go through hell to get to happiness.
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