I was standing doing my hair today wondering where I went wrong in life. How come I'm working my ass off trying to find a job, take care of a home, take care of my kids (who most days hate me), and take care of myself? Which the later seems to be sorely losing out. Honestly! Did I make a mistake in college when I chose a Business degree that focused on Advertising and Graphic Arts? Did I make a mistake when I opted not to pose for Playboy when they were at my college campus? Did I make a mistake when I thought having kids would fix my troubled marriage? Did I make a mistake when I chose to stay home and be a full time parent for my kids? or did I make the biggest mistake of all and not get into reality TV?????
Seriously! Out of all the poor decisions I've made in the last 20 years, I can honestly say I most regret not getting a degree in Bayou Gator Hunting, being Hugh Heffner's 20 year old girl friend, signing up for Dave & Julie Plus 5, or selling out my kid's tantrums to some ridiculous dance show, nanny show, or talent show!!! I want to know exactly what Sharon Osborn wants to do for Honey Boo Boo. Give her money for a college education??? Make her a talent star because she's an over weight mouthy little girl?? What??
I want to know what the rest of the hard working people around the world did wrong that they don't make $300k AN EPISODE for drinking, smoking, swearing, tanning, and sleeping with every warm willing body! I want to know why I wasn't born a red neck!!!! Look at all the GREAT vacations they go on!!! The Hamptons and Europe! I want to go there! Oh wait I can't...because I'm an "average" American trying to find a job so that my "real" children can eat and continue to have a roof over their head.
Why wasn't I born extremely wealthy? or marry someone extremely wealthy so that I can throw my 12 year old daughter a birthday party, where ALL the guests are required to bring a gift totalling more than most people make in a month. Then belittle and berate all my staff because the money I have is an entitlement, not something I worked really hard for.
Better yet!!! Why wasn't I born a gifted athlete who wins the hearts, admiration, and respect of millions? Only to believe I'm invincible to the laws. OOOOOhhhh even one better than a professional athlete? A politician!!!! Sooooo above the law! I could have been a crook, a murderer, an adulterer, or a rapist and gotten away with ALL of it! Why? because I'm a politician.
I'm just completely sick of all the job opportunities I've passed up in the last few years. Clearly there were some good ones! Clearly ones where I wouldn't have to have ANY regard for hard work and self respect. Ones that teach my children about the easy road in life. Ones that don't require any of life's skills. Ones where I don't even have to speak clear English! Ones that destroy my loved ones trust, honesty and self worth. Ones that DON'T represent everything I was raised to believe. I don't want the easy road. I just want a job that pays a few bills. I don't want to be any one's boss. I just want to go to work, do my job, come home, and boss around my five kids. I'm not asking for much. Just a chance. I suppose I can always resort to gator hunting if all else fails.....food for the kids and a new belt and shoes for Mama! Win win for everyone!
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