Parent Teacher Conferences

I'm not sure who Parent Teacher Conferences evoke more anxiety to, kids or parents. I'm also going to throw my mother in there as well. She was a total basket case by the time I got home and again this morning on the phone. I think it's honestly a toss up. My kids absolutely wanted to go and absolutely wanted to tell me EVERYTHING before I went. I felt like I should be shining a light in their face and screaming, "TELL ME EVERYTHING, OR THE DOG GETS IT!" Only of course to be met with, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

If there is one thing I don't like, it's surprises. I don't like them for my birthday, Christmas, parent teacher conferences, nothing. Nothing ever good comes from them. My friend surprised me by flying in from Arizona to surprise my other friend for her graduation party. I was hungover for two days. See what I'm saying? Initially they have potential. But in the end, disaster strikes.

I am always pleasantly reminded of what a great son I have. He's so kind and thoughtful. Always participates, etc. My initial reaction is ALWAYS, "are you sure you're talking about my son? It's B-R-E-N-D-A-N not Brandon or his other friend Brendon." To which I immediately rush home and say to said child, "why can you be kind at school and yet treat me like garbage and hate me so at home?" I've renamed my son Sybil every year following conferences. One day, I'm going to have it permanently changed.

My twin girls? A whole different ball game. I was NOT prepared for the information I received. My prior post is truly going to come in handy for them at the rate they are going. It's so frustrating to find out your child is struggling. Last year one of the girls was having a hard time and the other was excelling. This year they have flip flopped roles. My very confident, boisterous, I don't give a sh#t what anyone thinks daughter is now the self doubting I can't do it queen. And on things she clearly knows! I don't understand it. When I came home and asked her I was met with HUGE tears and a "I don't want to be wrong." Wow! I had no idea that at such a young age children can act like an adult and be their own worst critic. Honestly, how do you explain to a six year old that it's OK to make mistakes and that sometimes we have to put ourselves out there, and sometimes fail, in order to learn? No matter how many ways you say it, to them it sounds like "she just told me to do it wrong and it won't matter." The translation is lost no matter how it comes out.

Now the guilt has set in. I'm a single mom trying to help five kids with homework that even I struggle to understand. I can't spend the kind of time and patience I'd like with each one of my kids. Granted that's two fold. The upside is that it teaches them independence and confidence. The downside is that if they are struggling, my time and knowledge is limited for helping them. Makes me question how anyone can home school, AND home school more than one child! My kids each struggle in different areas. They don't get all A's, but they also don't get bad grades either. They are smart, funny and I hope happy. And at the end of the day, that's all that really matters to me. Rather than beat myself up over what I can't do, it's time I set a good example and show them all what I can. I may not be perfect, and I may make mistakes, but at least I'm trying.