We have ALL been there. Mom's and Dad's alike. It's that time in the mall, the grocery store, the restaurant, the bus stop, literally ANYWHERE other people are around, and your child COMPLETELY falls apart. Now I have to admit, I have very mixed feelings about this. When I am out without my kids and I witness this, my initial reaction is, "ugh! I left home to get away from that!" Then the mom in me kicks in and thinks, "poor mom/dad! glad it's not me this time!"
It's such a fine line. At what point do you feel bad? At what point do you offer to help? I distinctly remember being at the grocery store a few years ago and a mother, a few check out isles over, had a little one just screaming. I'm talking out of control screaming. When I looked over, this poor woman was not only mortified, but absolutely exhausted and at her breaking point. Not one single person offered to help. Just stares of disgust and rude comments a plenty. In fact, my check out girl said, "glad they're leaving! Can you believe that?" I was so mad when I left the store and disgusted at myself for not offering to help, that I vowed I wouldn't let an opportunity like that pass again.
Of course I have, this morning actually. But again, what do you do? My poor neighbors kindergartner REFUSED to get on the bus. It was an all out war between mom and little guy. All of my neighbors, including myself, sat and stared rather than offer to help. Once again, that fine line comes in to play. Did she want our help? Was there anything we REALLY could have done? If I knew she didn't have to go directly to work, I would have offered her a shot!
These situations put our patience levels to a supreme test. Sometimes we win, sometimes everyone loses. My sitter used to tell me when I would fall apart, "you have to go in and check on your kids when they are sleeping. It not only gives you the strength to get through another day, but it reminds you that you love you them."
I guess I don't have an answer. Maybe I need to look at it from another view. What would I want someone to do? You're already feeling defeated because you feel like you can't control your own child. Do you really want some stranger stepping in? I don't know? So many times we tell people to mind their own business, or we're too proud to ask for help. In reality, help is really what we need. One random act of kindness right? Or one VERY LARGE margarita! Or sometimes a simple hug can cure it all. Is there a right or wrong here? I honestly don't know.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
The Bus
Fair warning, I'm about to unleash my fury about the bus. Let me start out by saying, my children are no angels. I'm fully aware. However, there are some REALLY rotten kids out there. Some that live right up the street from me and unfortunately ride the bus with my children. URGH!!!!
About two years ago my son and his friend had an unfortunate incident on the bus where him and another boy were coaxed by older kids, and some rotten younger ones, into kissing. Long story short, both my son and his friend were given a bus ticket (a warning in writing) and punished by having to sit away from their friends and alone on a seat. Well, being the mama bear that I am, I refused to sign the bus ticket, argued with the principal and the bus garage, and yanked all five of my kids from the bus for the rest of the year. Keep in mind that NONE of the other children involved in this incident were cited or even punished. That alone, put me over the edge!
It's two years later and I'm still stewing. Never once did my son or myself get an apology from the culprits in the neighborhood. Because my son's friends mother is a teacher at the school, she got all types of apologies. I don't like to swear on this blog, but I think that calls for a big fat Bullsh#t!
Here's where I'm going with this. It's now the third week of school and those little animals are at it again. The bus is a nightmare. There is zero supervision. My two first graders are begging me to get a ride to school, my oldest, a fifth grader, has no desire to get on there at all, and BOTH my third grade boys have complained about the same little girl trying to get my son to kiss another boy AGAIN!!! Are you kidding me?! Who teaches their kids that it's OK to bully and bribe and pick on other kids???? It's nauseating.
There will be a thorough grilling this afternoon, followed by a phone call tomorrow to the bus garage, followed by me carting my kids back and forth the rest of the school year. It's a total pain for me. But the alternative is foul language, situations young children should absolutely NOT be privy to, total chaos, lack of respect for the driver, a driver blaming ALL the wrong children, multiple drivers for the same route, and overall total mayhem. I pay my taxes! I don't want to pay for rotten teachers that hate going to work everyday or for bus drivers who can't pull it together. I have had it already! To pour salt in a very deep wound, I have eleven more years of this garbage!!!
Wouldn't it be great to say, "hey, until you fix all the crap my tax money goes to, I'm not paying you another dime!" Hell, people get fired from their jobs for less! Yet it's OK to continue to pay people for a job they aren't doing???? Reminds me of the weatherman. It's the only job in the world you can continually be wrong and still have a job. Education should not fall into this category. Transportation should not fall into this category. And most of all my children should not have to be the ones that suffer from someone else's lack of responsibility.
Something needs to be done about the buses so that our kids can get to and from school without incidents. Assigned seats, adult bus monitors, cameras, I don't care what it is. If that's what my tax money is going for, than I'm all for it. Beats me fighting with neighbors, the school and the bus garage! Not to mention saving me time and gas money. Jeez life was simpler when all I had to complain about was my babies refusing to nap!!! Bigger kids, bigger problems. Never ends!
About two years ago my son and his friend had an unfortunate incident on the bus where him and another boy were coaxed by older kids, and some rotten younger ones, into kissing. Long story short, both my son and his friend were given a bus ticket (a warning in writing) and punished by having to sit away from their friends and alone on a seat. Well, being the mama bear that I am, I refused to sign the bus ticket, argued with the principal and the bus garage, and yanked all five of my kids from the bus for the rest of the year. Keep in mind that NONE of the other children involved in this incident were cited or even punished. That alone, put me over the edge!
It's two years later and I'm still stewing. Never once did my son or myself get an apology from the culprits in the neighborhood. Because my son's friends mother is a teacher at the school, she got all types of apologies. I don't like to swear on this blog, but I think that calls for a big fat Bullsh#t!
Here's where I'm going with this. It's now the third week of school and those little animals are at it again. The bus is a nightmare. There is zero supervision. My two first graders are begging me to get a ride to school, my oldest, a fifth grader, has no desire to get on there at all, and BOTH my third grade boys have complained about the same little girl trying to get my son to kiss another boy AGAIN!!! Are you kidding me?! Who teaches their kids that it's OK to bully and bribe and pick on other kids???? It's nauseating.
There will be a thorough grilling this afternoon, followed by a phone call tomorrow to the bus garage, followed by me carting my kids back and forth the rest of the school year. It's a total pain for me. But the alternative is foul language, situations young children should absolutely NOT be privy to, total chaos, lack of respect for the driver, a driver blaming ALL the wrong children, multiple drivers for the same route, and overall total mayhem. I pay my taxes! I don't want to pay for rotten teachers that hate going to work everyday or for bus drivers who can't pull it together. I have had it already! To pour salt in a very deep wound, I have eleven more years of this garbage!!!
Wouldn't it be great to say, "hey, until you fix all the crap my tax money goes to, I'm not paying you another dime!" Hell, people get fired from their jobs for less! Yet it's OK to continue to pay people for a job they aren't doing???? Reminds me of the weatherman. It's the only job in the world you can continually be wrong and still have a job. Education should not fall into this category. Transportation should not fall into this category. And most of all my children should not have to be the ones that suffer from someone else's lack of responsibility.
Something needs to be done about the buses so that our kids can get to and from school without incidents. Assigned seats, adult bus monitors, cameras, I don't care what it is. If that's what my tax money is going for, than I'm all for it. Beats me fighting with neighbors, the school and the bus garage! Not to mention saving me time and gas money. Jeez life was simpler when all I had to complain about was my babies refusing to nap!!! Bigger kids, bigger problems. Never ends!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Boys....
Do I really need to say anything more??? In fact I'm shaking my head as I type. I've decided that you just NEVER know what's going to come out of them. Literally!!! I try to believe I live in that Disney fantasy world where they are charming, sweet, love their mother, and protect their sisters. Let me just put it this way, Walt Disney was CLEARLY a cruel, cruel man when he created all those grandiose images of what life could be like. I mean honestly, he killed off Bambi's mother! That should say something right there!
I have long been a believer that I need to shelter my children from things. Yes I realize now that I can't. Case in point. About a year ago my boys discovered the word "fart". Do you see where I'm going with this? I never used the word around them, and never made any big deal about it when any of them did "toot". However, now that they know that farting is indeed ALWAYS funny, along with the word itself, it has snowballed down to my girls. Who can apparently make any trucker look like a saint. There is no shame among my children. None what so ever.
As I lay in bed the other night listening to my boys talk before they fell asleep, my hawk like ears perked up when I heard my older son say to his brother, "who farts the loudest in your class?" Choking back my laughter I thought, "do kids really know this kind of information?". Well, according to my other son, ABSOLUTELY. My younger son had no problem throwing some poor gas infested child in his class under the bus. But the worst part about it was that my oldest then said, "I fart the loudest in my class." Just gross! Yet strangely, I felt proud.
The conversation then moved from not just farting, but on to pooping as well. Once again my sons proved that clearly I cannot shelter them from "big people" words. The sentence I heard was, "someone opened the door while he was taking a dump". Now I ask you, what the hell happened to my babies????? A dump? Really??? We do NOT talk like that at my house! Well, at least I didn't think so! Obviously I need to go back to third grade and get a lesson in language!!! I used to think my mom and dad didn't know anything either. Apparently, I now fall into that category too. It's actually depressing.
Although, I was able to redeem some sense of credibility when my younger son came home from school the other day and said, "MOM, guess what? I went into the boys bathroom and there was pee ALL around the toilet!!! I mean a puddle! It was ALL around the bottom!" I looked my shocked son in his sweet little blue innocent eyes and replied, "have you looked in your own bathroom lately? or sat on the wet toilet seat associated with YOUR bathroom?". After a long pause he said, "but there was a puddle ALL around the toilet at school." And ever so politely I said, "yes tiny, there IS a puddle ALL around YOUR toilet here." Speechless and confused, he walked away. Quietly I thought, one step forward, two steps back...and then went up to clean the puddle.
I have long been a believer that I need to shelter my children from things. Yes I realize now that I can't. Case in point. About a year ago my boys discovered the word "fart". Do you see where I'm going with this? I never used the word around them, and never made any big deal about it when any of them did "toot". However, now that they know that farting is indeed ALWAYS funny, along with the word itself, it has snowballed down to my girls. Who can apparently make any trucker look like a saint. There is no shame among my children. None what so ever.
As I lay in bed the other night listening to my boys talk before they fell asleep, my hawk like ears perked up when I heard my older son say to his brother, "who farts the loudest in your class?" Choking back my laughter I thought, "do kids really know this kind of information?". Well, according to my other son, ABSOLUTELY. My younger son had no problem throwing some poor gas infested child in his class under the bus. But the worst part about it was that my oldest then said, "I fart the loudest in my class." Just gross! Yet strangely, I felt proud.
The conversation then moved from not just farting, but on to pooping as well. Once again my sons proved that clearly I cannot shelter them from "big people" words. The sentence I heard was, "someone opened the door while he was taking a dump". Now I ask you, what the hell happened to my babies????? A dump? Really??? We do NOT talk like that at my house! Well, at least I didn't think so! Obviously I need to go back to third grade and get a lesson in language!!! I used to think my mom and dad didn't know anything either. Apparently, I now fall into that category too. It's actually depressing.
Although, I was able to redeem some sense of credibility when my younger son came home from school the other day and said, "MOM, guess what? I went into the boys bathroom and there was pee ALL around the toilet!!! I mean a puddle! It was ALL around the bottom!" I looked my shocked son in his sweet little blue innocent eyes and replied, "have you looked in your own bathroom lately? or sat on the wet toilet seat associated with YOUR bathroom?". After a long pause he said, "but there was a puddle ALL around the toilet at school." And ever so politely I said, "yes tiny, there IS a puddle ALL around YOUR toilet here." Speechless and confused, he walked away. Quietly I thought, one step forward, two steps back...and then went up to clean the puddle.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Woo Hoo!!
I had the most amazing run this morning. My love/hate relationship with running goes like this: I hate cold nasty weather, I dread going out into it, I love running, and out the door I go. Complaining the ENTIRE time. My friend Sean asked me once, "do you ever stop bitching during a run?" Nope. During races I'm worse! Needless to say, I haven't run with Sean in a while.
Today's run actually put a smile on my face the entire time. I absolutely dreaded going today because it was pouring down rain. Even the dog looked at me like I was crazy. But running in the rain isn't a big deal until you stop. That cold, wet, yucky feeling makes me say I hate running even more. However, this time I had new tunes on my ipod and a "let's get this done" attitude going.
Within the first mile, both the dog and I were drenched and covered in mud. To say she was less than amused was an understatement. I gave into the dread when we crossed the highway and like a kid, started looking for EVERY mud puddle, and puddle, I could find. I laughed and jumped into as many as I could. Because my dog is afraid of her own shadow, every time I jumped she thought for sure I was going to beat her. By the about the fifth one we were both a total wreck. Me grinning from ear to ear and her not so daintily running through every puddle too. Normally, the 65 pound lap dog, avoids water like it's acid.
So it got me thinking. Ah to be a kid again. To get dirty and not have a care in the world. I worked my children like slaves this weekend. They all dusted and vacuumed their rooms, changed their sheets, and cleaned the basement. I only asked once. Clearly these were aliens who replaced MY children who have to be asked at least 20 times to complete the simplest of tasks. But they did it without one word of complaint too. And as I sat there at night looking back on the day, I thought "what a total waste". What's a clean house worth anyway? Peace of mind? Yes, absolutely. But at what expense? Did they learn a valuable lesson in responsibility? Yes, absolutely. But what did they gain from losing time just being a kid? There has to be a fine line in there somewhere. And I guess looking back today, maybe there was. I wasn't yelling, the radio was blasting out some really fun tunes, the jobs got done in record time, and they still got to play MOST of the day with their friends. Of course it didn't hurt that I took them out for dinner because they were so great either!
I think in the end it comes down to this, take the time to have fun and get dirty, because everything washes out at the end of the day anyway. Opportunity is everything. Take every moment and run with it like you were just discovering the fun of a giant puddle for the first time.
Today's run actually put a smile on my face the entire time. I absolutely dreaded going today because it was pouring down rain. Even the dog looked at me like I was crazy. But running in the rain isn't a big deal until you stop. That cold, wet, yucky feeling makes me say I hate running even more. However, this time I had new tunes on my ipod and a "let's get this done" attitude going.
Within the first mile, both the dog and I were drenched and covered in mud. To say she was less than amused was an understatement. I gave into the dread when we crossed the highway and like a kid, started looking for EVERY mud puddle, and puddle, I could find. I laughed and jumped into as many as I could. Because my dog is afraid of her own shadow, every time I jumped she thought for sure I was going to beat her. By the about the fifth one we were both a total wreck. Me grinning from ear to ear and her not so daintily running through every puddle too. Normally, the 65 pound lap dog, avoids water like it's acid.
So it got me thinking. Ah to be a kid again. To get dirty and not have a care in the world. I worked my children like slaves this weekend. They all dusted and vacuumed their rooms, changed their sheets, and cleaned the basement. I only asked once. Clearly these were aliens who replaced MY children who have to be asked at least 20 times to complete the simplest of tasks. But they did it without one word of complaint too. And as I sat there at night looking back on the day, I thought "what a total waste". What's a clean house worth anyway? Peace of mind? Yes, absolutely. But at what expense? Did they learn a valuable lesson in responsibility? Yes, absolutely. But what did they gain from losing time just being a kid? There has to be a fine line in there somewhere. And I guess looking back today, maybe there was. I wasn't yelling, the radio was blasting out some really fun tunes, the jobs got done in record time, and they still got to play MOST of the day with their friends. Of course it didn't hurt that I took them out for dinner because they were so great either!
I think in the end it comes down to this, take the time to have fun and get dirty, because everything washes out at the end of the day anyway. Opportunity is everything. Take every moment and run with it like you were just discovering the fun of a giant puddle for the first time.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Harness Them Up!
No, I'm not talking about boobs. Though that may be a future topic now that I think about it. I'm talking about dogs. I love animals. More so when they aren't mine. But, being the sucker that I am, you all know I caved last winter and adopted the "special" dog. I call her special because she makes a rock look smart sometimes. God love her, she is just dumb as a stump.
Here's where I'm going with this. Keep your dogs on a leash when you are out in public. Not everyone is a dog lover. Not everyone loves animals. Nothing irritates me more than when some moron lets their dog run loose while they are out for a walk. I am sooooo conscience about others while I'm out with my crazy animal, that I literally choke her to death pulling her out of the way of ANYONE walking past. I just think it's so rude to let your animal near someone you don't know. Especially now a days when people can sue you for anything under the sun.
Today while out running, we took a trail. At the fork in the trail there was a rather sketchy looking man looking around like he was bird watching. I didn't think twice about it, except for where is the nearest weapon in case he attacks me. As we headed around the corner there was a dog. Not a large dog and one that I thought was friendly until it nearly took a chunk out of my dog and my dog almost dragged me down the path trying to flee. No leash and an owner who simple told his dog to shut up as he casually walked over to grab the collar. Really?! Shut up?? How about, I'm sorry my dog attacked you??? Nope, nothing, nada, zip, zilch.
Thankfully neither of us were hurt. But the thing that gets me is NOT this man's blatant disregard for my safety, it's the fact that this isn't the first time this has happened to me while running. I had a pit bull chase me out of it's yard, down the street and nip at my calf without it's owner ANYWHERE in site. A friend of mine was running and was attacked and ended up with stitches without that dogs owner even knowing what had happened. Honest to God, are dog owners that insensitive to others well being? I get that accidents happen. But these incidents were no accidents. They were pure and simple stupidity on grossly negligent owners.
It's not rocket science, it's common sense. Above that it's common courtesy. Plain and simple.
Here's where I'm going with this. Keep your dogs on a leash when you are out in public. Not everyone is a dog lover. Not everyone loves animals. Nothing irritates me more than when some moron lets their dog run loose while they are out for a walk. I am sooooo conscience about others while I'm out with my crazy animal, that I literally choke her to death pulling her out of the way of ANYONE walking past. I just think it's so rude to let your animal near someone you don't know. Especially now a days when people can sue you for anything under the sun.
Today while out running, we took a trail. At the fork in the trail there was a rather sketchy looking man looking around like he was bird watching. I didn't think twice about it, except for where is the nearest weapon in case he attacks me. As we headed around the corner there was a dog. Not a large dog and one that I thought was friendly until it nearly took a chunk out of my dog and my dog almost dragged me down the path trying to flee. No leash and an owner who simple told his dog to shut up as he casually walked over to grab the collar. Really?! Shut up?? How about, I'm sorry my dog attacked you??? Nope, nothing, nada, zip, zilch.
Thankfully neither of us were hurt. But the thing that gets me is NOT this man's blatant disregard for my safety, it's the fact that this isn't the first time this has happened to me while running. I had a pit bull chase me out of it's yard, down the street and nip at my calf without it's owner ANYWHERE in site. A friend of mine was running and was attacked and ended up with stitches without that dogs owner even knowing what had happened. Honest to God, are dog owners that insensitive to others well being? I get that accidents happen. But these incidents were no accidents. They were pure and simple stupidity on grossly negligent owners.
It's not rocket science, it's common sense. Above that it's common courtesy. Plain and simple.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Oh Buddah
I happen to catch the Doctor Oz show yesterday while I was getting supper ready for the kids. I have to say it's been on my mind since then. Honestly, I like this guy. He seems to know what he's talking about and he's compassionate about solving even the most intimate medical issues.
Yesterday he was discussing women over 40 and their unwanted, embarrassing belly fat. I've got to admit, I'm one of these women. It doesn't matter how much we exercise, the belly remains. There were woman who named their belly, woman who religiously exercised, vigorously dieted, went under the knife, women who had had children, woman who hadn't, and so on. The result was the same. Shame, disgust and frustration.
I remember one mom saying to me that she was proud of her stretch marks. It proved that she was woman enough to handle pregnancy. At the time I thought good for her, but definitely NOT for me. I hated my belly, and still do. My OB/GYN calls it twin skin. I gave him the finger at that comment. God love the man, but really?! UGH!
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a little gal. I run a lot, I eat fairly healthy, and have a small addiction to sweets (ok LARGE, but who's counting?!). It doesn't matter what I do, the skin is still there, and unless I'm laying down, I keep that part of my body covered. I did venture to "try" a bikini for the first time in 20 years, last year. My man thought I looked great! I was self conscious and forever wrapping up any time I left my beach chair. Here's the kicker! I'm more embarrassed about my sagging belly than my tiny boobs! You'd think at my age neither would matter. And trust me, I could care less what other people think. It's the pressure and the judgement we place on ourselves that is the harshest and most damaging. We are our own worst enemies at any given time.
Dr. Oz offered some suggestions that I absolutely plan on trying. But I'm not thoroughly convinced it's going to make my belly "look" any different. Every time I'm bloated at least one of my children ask if I'm having another baby. Since I can't give them the finger, I just give them a dirty look. I'm not against trying something new, I'm not against it at all. In fact, I read a quote today that I considered a sign that I should without a doubt try the Dr. Oz method. "Progress is impossible with out change and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything."- George Bernard Shaw
Wisdom is knowledge. In this case, I'm hoping knowledge brings on a positive change. If not, we can all thank God for the woman who invented Spanx!!!
Yesterday he was discussing women over 40 and their unwanted, embarrassing belly fat. I've got to admit, I'm one of these women. It doesn't matter how much we exercise, the belly remains. There were woman who named their belly, woman who religiously exercised, vigorously dieted, went under the knife, women who had had children, woman who hadn't, and so on. The result was the same. Shame, disgust and frustration.
I remember one mom saying to me that she was proud of her stretch marks. It proved that she was woman enough to handle pregnancy. At the time I thought good for her, but definitely NOT for me. I hated my belly, and still do. My OB/GYN calls it twin skin. I gave him the finger at that comment. God love the man, but really?! UGH!
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a little gal. I run a lot, I eat fairly healthy, and have a small addiction to sweets (ok LARGE, but who's counting?!). It doesn't matter what I do, the skin is still there, and unless I'm laying down, I keep that part of my body covered. I did venture to "try" a bikini for the first time in 20 years, last year. My man thought I looked great! I was self conscious and forever wrapping up any time I left my beach chair. Here's the kicker! I'm more embarrassed about my sagging belly than my tiny boobs! You'd think at my age neither would matter. And trust me, I could care less what other people think. It's the pressure and the judgement we place on ourselves that is the harshest and most damaging. We are our own worst enemies at any given time.
Dr. Oz offered some suggestions that I absolutely plan on trying. But I'm not thoroughly convinced it's going to make my belly "look" any different. Every time I'm bloated at least one of my children ask if I'm having another baby. Since I can't give them the finger, I just give them a dirty look. I'm not against trying something new, I'm not against it at all. In fact, I read a quote today that I considered a sign that I should without a doubt try the Dr. Oz method. "Progress is impossible with out change and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything."- George Bernard Shaw
Wisdom is knowledge. In this case, I'm hoping knowledge brings on a positive change. If not, we can all thank God for the woman who invented Spanx!!!
Monday, September 12, 2011
Always The Bad Guy
Honestly, the title says it all. I am the mom, I am always the bad guy. Being a single mom does NOT help the situation. Not one bit. However, there has to come a time when I have to put my foot down. Whether I'm right or not has absolutely nothing to do with the circumstance at hand. It comes down to principal, and in my children's case, prior commitments. Or lack there of.
I no sooner walked in the house last night and my oldest daughter started in on me. She DESPERATELY wanted to join the orchestra at her school. My initial reaction to her request was no. Followed by a more forceful no. Followed by a screaming and crying match. Followed by a "fine, I'll pay for it myself". Followed by an absolutely NOT. And finally, a no, because you won't stick with it.
I played an instrument, a few actually, so it's not that I have a problem with her actually playing one. My problem is this. SHE NEVER FOLLOWS THROUGH ON ANYTHING. I know we aren't supposed to say "always, never, anything, or everything" during an argument. And I try VERY VERY hard not to. However, her track record precedes her and with the rest of my kids already in VERY expensive sports, the idea of one more place to cart one more child to, or one more expense that won't pan out, puts me a tad over the edge.
I happen to catch a part of the Today show with Kathy Lee and Hoda this morning. They were interviewing Solei Moon Frye. Apparently she wrote a book called Happy Chaos. Solei went on and on about how much she loved being a mom and truly learned to embrace all the chaos of being one. Blah, blah, blah. I love being a mom too. But let's be honest. It's not all its cracked up to be some days. AND, the chaos isn't too bad when you ONLY have two toddlers. I'm not sure she realizes what's in store for her a few years down the road. God bless her if she still feels this way in 10 years.
I can embrace chaos too. However, at some point you have to keep a lid on it AND be the bad guy. I can be my kids friend all day long and play and make a mess just as well as any two year old. However, at the end of the day, I'm the mom, I'm the boss, and what I say goes. I've had to admit I was sorry or wrong a few times in the past 11 years. But all in all, I'd like to think that my kids respect the fact that it is only me and that they may not get EVERYTHING they want, they get more than what they NEED. Compared to most third world countries? it's a hell of a lot.
I no sooner walked in the house last night and my oldest daughter started in on me. She DESPERATELY wanted to join the orchestra at her school. My initial reaction to her request was no. Followed by a more forceful no. Followed by a screaming and crying match. Followed by a "fine, I'll pay for it myself". Followed by an absolutely NOT. And finally, a no, because you won't stick with it.
I played an instrument, a few actually, so it's not that I have a problem with her actually playing one. My problem is this. SHE NEVER FOLLOWS THROUGH ON ANYTHING. I know we aren't supposed to say "always, never, anything, or everything" during an argument. And I try VERY VERY hard not to. However, her track record precedes her and with the rest of my kids already in VERY expensive sports, the idea of one more place to cart one more child to, or one more expense that won't pan out, puts me a tad over the edge.
I happen to catch a part of the Today show with Kathy Lee and Hoda this morning. They were interviewing Solei Moon Frye. Apparently she wrote a book called Happy Chaos. Solei went on and on about how much she loved being a mom and truly learned to embrace all the chaos of being one. Blah, blah, blah. I love being a mom too. But let's be honest. It's not all its cracked up to be some days. AND, the chaos isn't too bad when you ONLY have two toddlers. I'm not sure she realizes what's in store for her a few years down the road. God bless her if she still feels this way in 10 years.
I can embrace chaos too. However, at some point you have to keep a lid on it AND be the bad guy. I can be my kids friend all day long and play and make a mess just as well as any two year old. However, at the end of the day, I'm the mom, I'm the boss, and what I say goes. I've had to admit I was sorry or wrong a few times in the past 11 years. But all in all, I'd like to think that my kids respect the fact that it is only me and that they may not get EVERYTHING they want, they get more than what they NEED. Compared to most third world countries? it's a hell of a lot.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Ho Hum.....
Oh whatever shall I do now that my wonderful, happy, healthy children are back at school????? Enjoy the silence that's what I'm doing!!! No more, "I'm bored!", "He spit on me!", "I hate her!", "You're a meanie!", "What's for lunch?", "I'm starving!!!!" (this ALWAYS followed a full meal mind you). And the list goes on.
Some days I like to believe one of my five children will grow up and realize I'm not such a bad mom and take care of ME. Other days I believe I don't pay the therapist enough. Nor will I ever stop paying her!
Yes summer is officially over. Waa! But hurray for school and the sense of routine it brings to all of us. It's comforting and consistent. And though my children will NEVER admit to it, they have looked forward to it for the past month. Too much togetherness creates nothing but chaos. Chaos breads disaster. Disaster unfolds into Mommy drinking LOTS to numb the whole existence of their being!
Don't get me wrong. I love my kids and do EVERYTHING for them. However, there is a reason we grow up and MOVE FAR AWAY from our parents. So many different personalities can only be expected to be civil for so long. Eventually someone is going to lose it. And in our house it creates a trickle down effect. Even the dog has enjoyed the silence these last two days!
Though the days of summer seem a distant blur now, the end of baseball, a dance recital, a three week trip to the cottage, swimming lessons, a week of movies with Dad, a trip down the west side of the state, countless yelling matches, endless laughter, and one broken ankle later, we all survived and lived to tell our stories.
So now what? Well, horseback riding continues, hockey starts, and so does dance. Dinner, homework, sports, and lots of driving. All in all I can't complain. No one listens when I do anyway. But I will say, life is good, some days are better than others. At the end of the day I can colapse and say "thank god that's over and I'm not in jail!" Phew! It's the little things in life.
Some days I like to believe one of my five children will grow up and realize I'm not such a bad mom and take care of ME. Other days I believe I don't pay the therapist enough. Nor will I ever stop paying her!
Yes summer is officially over. Waa! But hurray for school and the sense of routine it brings to all of us. It's comforting and consistent. And though my children will NEVER admit to it, they have looked forward to it for the past month. Too much togetherness creates nothing but chaos. Chaos breads disaster. Disaster unfolds into Mommy drinking LOTS to numb the whole existence of their being!
Don't get me wrong. I love my kids and do EVERYTHING for them. However, there is a reason we grow up and MOVE FAR AWAY from our parents. So many different personalities can only be expected to be civil for so long. Eventually someone is going to lose it. And in our house it creates a trickle down effect. Even the dog has enjoyed the silence these last two days!
Though the days of summer seem a distant blur now, the end of baseball, a dance recital, a three week trip to the cottage, swimming lessons, a week of movies with Dad, a trip down the west side of the state, countless yelling matches, endless laughter, and one broken ankle later, we all survived and lived to tell our stories.
So now what? Well, horseback riding continues, hockey starts, and so does dance. Dinner, homework, sports, and lots of driving. All in all I can't complain. No one listens when I do anyway. But I will say, life is good, some days are better than others. At the end of the day I can colapse and say "thank god that's over and I'm not in jail!" Phew! It's the little things in life.
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