I've come to the conclusion that completely losing it with my kids is a total waste of time. It's like the old Peanuts TV show, "wa wa, wa wa wa wa". They tune everything right out! But give them a reward and they're all ears.
I'm not that naive to just hand out rewards. There has to be something in it for me. Let's face it, it is all about me. What kids??? Who are these little people that keep calling me mom??
The chore chart cometh. I'm tired of doing things that they should clearly be responsible for. I don't look at it as slave labor, though Social Services may think otherwise. I look at it as life skills learned at an early age. There is absolutely no reason a five year old can't change sheets or put clean clothes away. The central vac is easy enough to operate that cereal crumbs should be a thing of the past. And who doesn't think those Swiffer dusters aren't a blast to use? I'm not asking them to clean the toilets, though the thought has crossed my mind for the boys!! URGH! But there comes a point where a mom just gets tired of asking over and over and over again for the simplest of tasks to be completed.
I was smart this time. I made this a family effort with a family reward system. No individual gets rewarded for completing their chores. EVERYONE has to complete EVERYTHING for the day or no star. If there are enough stars at the end of the month, we'll do something fun as a family. This month they chose skiing. We'll see how they fair. If I have to remind any one of them more than three times to complete their chore for the day, there is no star for anyone. It gives me such an absolute sense of empowerment to say, "this is the second time I've asked. If I have to ask again there won't be a star for anyone today." And you can only guess how irritated the others who have done their chores are at the sound of that warning! Ahhh to be queen. It's a rough job being the ruler of the family. But with the right strategy, it's possible to achieve greatness. Without yelling I might add!
Again, you just don't mess with mama bear! I don't mind protecting my young, but I also see nothing wrong with eating one of them either.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Reality TV
I don't watch TV often. In fact, I have so many shows Tivo'd I will never watch, that I should turn the machine in and save myself some money each month. I like to live in my bubble where nothing bad happens to anyone. Every time I get the urge to turn it on, there is ALWAYS some tragedy being reported. Does ANYTHING good ever happen in the world???
Then there is reality TV. I will admit to watching Jersey Shore. The first time I tuned in, was a year ago and I swore I'd never watch it again. I mean really? Who talks, looks and acts like that?? My mouth hangs open and I shake my head every time I see it. But, it's like a train wreck. You just can't look away.
I heard that these kids make $30k an episode. Seriously?! All that for being young, dumb and apparently full of come! It's truly amazing to me! I once went through customs with my five kids. The border guy says, "WOW, you've got a lot of kids! Have you ever seen John and Kate plus 8?" If it hadn't been for my fear of jail I would have flipped him off. Instead I politely said, "Yes, I live their life. I'm only three short and don't have my own reality show."
One of these days I am going to have my own reality show. It'll be called Old, Wise and Full of Vodka. I mean who wouldn't want to watch me start my day with a Bailey's and coffee, yell at my kids to constantly hurry up, cook endless tasteless meals for them, and end the day with a "big people" drink??? Fun right??? Clearly worth $30k an episode! Oh, and that's not hair gel in my hair, that's grease from being too busy to shower. Reality at it's finest folks!
Then there is reality TV. I will admit to watching Jersey Shore. The first time I tuned in, was a year ago and I swore I'd never watch it again. I mean really? Who talks, looks and acts like that?? My mouth hangs open and I shake my head every time I see it. But, it's like a train wreck. You just can't look away.
I heard that these kids make $30k an episode. Seriously?! All that for being young, dumb and apparently full of come! It's truly amazing to me! I once went through customs with my five kids. The border guy says, "WOW, you've got a lot of kids! Have you ever seen John and Kate plus 8?" If it hadn't been for my fear of jail I would have flipped him off. Instead I politely said, "Yes, I live their life. I'm only three short and don't have my own reality show."
One of these days I am going to have my own reality show. It'll be called Old, Wise and Full of Vodka. I mean who wouldn't want to watch me start my day with a Bailey's and coffee, yell at my kids to constantly hurry up, cook endless tasteless meals for them, and end the day with a "big people" drink??? Fun right??? Clearly worth $30k an episode! Oh, and that's not hair gel in my hair, that's grease from being too busy to shower. Reality at it's finest folks!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Reading
I love reading. I actually forgot how much I did when my children came along and there was absolutely no time to do it. Now that I'm single, the kids are older, and there is virtually NOTHING on TV, I have rediscovered books. And books I never thought I'd like or even possibly think I'd finish.
I'm not sure what it is that draws me to certain stories. The fact that someone has it worse than me, the humor, the suspense, the feeling of getting lost in a story, or the sense of accomplishment that I actually finished a book. Some days it's all of that and more.
One of my alter egos has always been a bit of a techno nerd. I love gadgets. I recently purchased a Kindle. Let me just say this, how come I didn't buy one of these years ago???? By far one of the best gifts I've bought myself. Not to mention the savings on the price of books! The machine itself was reasonably priced (they suck you in with all the fun extras you THINK you need to go with it) and the price of books is ridiculously cheap. No wonder book stores are going under! Why would I drive to the store, look for parking, have some salesperson trick me into a card that earns me points every time I buy from them, AND pay $30 for a book when I can pay 99 cents for one WITHOUT leaving my home??? Ludicrous! Yesterday on my couch, I bought four books for no more than $4. And New York Times Best Sellers at that. Honestly, I'm shaking my head.
However, there is one teensy weensy draw back. Actually a rather LARGE issue. My children. I have given the death by toenail hanging speech to all of them for even looking at it from afar. My only child days return in such subtle ways that I myself am shocked by their appearance. But this is one toy I am NOT sharing no matter what. NO... MATTER... WHAT!!! The spoiled brat princess has spoken, and I have no qualms about it. Happy reading to me!!!
I'm not sure what it is that draws me to certain stories. The fact that someone has it worse than me, the humor, the suspense, the feeling of getting lost in a story, or the sense of accomplishment that I actually finished a book. Some days it's all of that and more.
One of my alter egos has always been a bit of a techno nerd. I love gadgets. I recently purchased a Kindle. Let me just say this, how come I didn't buy one of these years ago???? By far one of the best gifts I've bought myself. Not to mention the savings on the price of books! The machine itself was reasonably priced (they suck you in with all the fun extras you THINK you need to go with it) and the price of books is ridiculously cheap. No wonder book stores are going under! Why would I drive to the store, look for parking, have some salesperson trick me into a card that earns me points every time I buy from them, AND pay $30 for a book when I can pay 99 cents for one WITHOUT leaving my home??? Ludicrous! Yesterday on my couch, I bought four books for no more than $4. And New York Times Best Sellers at that. Honestly, I'm shaking my head.
However, there is one teensy weensy draw back. Actually a rather LARGE issue. My children. I have given the death by toenail hanging speech to all of them for even looking at it from afar. My only child days return in such subtle ways that I myself am shocked by their appearance. But this is one toy I am NOT sharing no matter what. NO... MATTER... WHAT!!! The spoiled brat princess has spoken, and I have no qualms about it. Happy reading to me!!!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Birthday
UGH!!! I'll make this short and sweet. My father has told me for years that getting old is NOT for the weak. Honestly, where does the time go? It's my birthday, AGAIN, next week. And for the 19th year in a row, I am choosing to ignore, avoid, deny, and trash it's existence.
On the other end, my children keep relentlessly reminding me and I pretend like I don't hear them...similar to most things that they say. I think the thing that bothers me the most about my birthday is that it's another reminder of time gone by. My kids are one year older, all the should have, could haves crop up from the past year, and let's face it, some new ailment is looming! I swear the older I get, the more my body hates me. And for the most part, I'm really good to it! I suppose it's just another of life's little mysteries.
So, for the 19th year in a row, I am 22. Legal enough to drink, old enough to vote, and young enough to deny ANY responsibility for myself. My alter ego, the soon to be 41 year old, has to get off the computer, snow blow the driveway, do three loads of laundry, vacuum the house, and go buy birthday presents for the rest of the January birthday people in her life. Ahhhhh to be 22. You're only as old as you feel, right???
On the other end, my children keep relentlessly reminding me and I pretend like I don't hear them...similar to most things that they say. I think the thing that bothers me the most about my birthday is that it's another reminder of time gone by. My kids are one year older, all the should have, could haves crop up from the past year, and let's face it, some new ailment is looming! I swear the older I get, the more my body hates me. And for the most part, I'm really good to it! I suppose it's just another of life's little mysteries.
So, for the 19th year in a row, I am 22. Legal enough to drink, old enough to vote, and young enough to deny ANY responsibility for myself. My alter ego, the soon to be 41 year old, has to get off the computer, snow blow the driveway, do three loads of laundry, vacuum the house, and go buy birthday presents for the rest of the January birthday people in her life. Ahhhhh to be 22. You're only as old as you feel, right???
Friday, January 7, 2011
I See Dead People
I have never discounted paranormal activity. Nor have I any reason to believe that some people do possess a seventh sense that allows them to understand things about death or life changing moments. In fact, sometimes I feel like one of these people. I have had dreams about planes crashing and ALWAYS within three days a plane will go down somewhere in the world. It's the strangest thing!!!! I have always chalked it off to my fear of flying. But who knows, right??
My daughter had her tenth birthday party last month. She had a great time. I however am still recovering from five screaming girls up til 6am. It's quite possible this was the last party EVER for ANY of my children. As with any party, there is usually a moment that sticks out and stays with you for a lifetime.
With the party in full swing, one of my daughters friends comes to me and says that one of the girls is upstairs sobbing and won't come out. I go up thinking that this poor girl has somehow gotten hurt and I've got to call her mother and break the news. Boy was I mistaken! Here she is balled up on my daughters bed sobbing uncontrollably. "Honey what's wrong? Are you hurt?" She looks me straight in the eyes and says, "No. My cousin who died is sitting in that chair over there saying spooky things to me." I look around as if I'm on Punked and stand there speechless. Honestly! How do you respond to something like that??? Knowing I have to choose my words carefully with an inconsolable child I say, "Well, maybe she's here to keep you company?" I'm at a loss at this point. She then goes on to tell me, mind you FREAKING out the other girls that now believe there is a ghost in my house, that her cousin died of a blood disease and that she only visits when this little girl is at homes she doesn't know. At this point I'm trying to decide if this girl is crazy, a liar, can really see dead people, or an amazing actress. My only response is "Let's go have cake. It'll make everyone feel better!" UGH!!!!
I have dubbed this poor little girl "I See Dead People" and to this day cannot possibly imagine what other friends or situations I will have to incur at future parties. I'm still shaking my head! Some days I laugh, other days I wonder. Again, you just never know.
My daughter had her tenth birthday party last month. She had a great time. I however am still recovering from five screaming girls up til 6am. It's quite possible this was the last party EVER for ANY of my children. As with any party, there is usually a moment that sticks out and stays with you for a lifetime.
With the party in full swing, one of my daughters friends comes to me and says that one of the girls is upstairs sobbing and won't come out. I go up thinking that this poor girl has somehow gotten hurt and I've got to call her mother and break the news. Boy was I mistaken! Here she is balled up on my daughters bed sobbing uncontrollably. "Honey what's wrong? Are you hurt?" She looks me straight in the eyes and says, "No. My cousin who died is sitting in that chair over there saying spooky things to me." I look around as if I'm on Punked and stand there speechless. Honestly! How do you respond to something like that??? Knowing I have to choose my words carefully with an inconsolable child I say, "Well, maybe she's here to keep you company?" I'm at a loss at this point. She then goes on to tell me, mind you FREAKING out the other girls that now believe there is a ghost in my house, that her cousin died of a blood disease and that she only visits when this little girl is at homes she doesn't know. At this point I'm trying to decide if this girl is crazy, a liar, can really see dead people, or an amazing actress. My only response is "Let's go have cake. It'll make everyone feel better!" UGH!!!!
I have dubbed this poor little girl "I See Dead People" and to this day cannot possibly imagine what other friends or situations I will have to incur at future parties. I'm still shaking my head! Some days I laugh, other days I wonder. Again, you just never know.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Stay At Home Mom
I'm going to apologize ahead of time for the rant I'm about to unleash. But I have truly had about all I can take with people criticizing and looking down on moms that choose to stay home with their children.
I have the utmost respect for women who go to work and raise a family. I find the time constraints put on these women daunting and unimaginably taxing both physically and mentally. That being said, I find it sickening that there is a total lack of respect for those that stay home. I have been without a "real" job for almost 12 years. However, my other job kicked into full force 10 years ago when I had my first child. At that point I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home. Four babies later (of which I will freely admit to having a sitter help me out over the years), a divorce, and an ex husband with severe depression who almost died, tends to put a bit of a crimp on going out job hunting. Not to mention that I would NEVER expect an employer to tolerate my having to come and go at any given time. With all five of my kids at school now, life has not gotten any easier. I find I'm actually more busy now than ever before.
I am NOT a person who makes excuses or complains. I am extremely organized and I get the job done. Whatever it is. I cannot compare my life to moms that leave their homes and families to bring home a paycheck. That would be absurd. But the same holds true for the reverse. A working mother should in no way compare her day to mine, as if my time were any less important or ill spent. I do more in one day than most can even imagine. I have learned a valuable lesson being a mother. Every mother, working outside the home or not, needs to take time for themselves. Every therapist, every self help book, every true friend will urge moms to do this. I learned that the hard way. I yelled at my kids and let it effect my marriage for years when I didn't. I found an outlet five years ago and I stick to it the best I can. To criticize me or look down on me for taking an hour or two out of my day to regroup so that I can be a better mother, friend, daughter or girlfriend turns my stomach.
Don't judge until you have walked a mile in someone elses shoes. Life is NOT easy for anyone. Everyone has some challenge they are trying to overcome. But to think that anyone's time is less valuable because it isn't the way you would use it makes you ignorant and less compassionate as a human being toward others.
My horoscope said that this is the year to be less critical and more forgiving- not just with others but also with yourself. I will not apologize for the life I have chosen, nor do I have any regrets. I do the best I can for myself and my family and at the end of the day have no problem looking myself in the mirror. It's time others around us let go of the "should have, would have, could haves" we bestow onto one another and just live our own lives.
I have the utmost respect for women who go to work and raise a family. I find the time constraints put on these women daunting and unimaginably taxing both physically and mentally. That being said, I find it sickening that there is a total lack of respect for those that stay home. I have been without a "real" job for almost 12 years. However, my other job kicked into full force 10 years ago when I had my first child. At that point I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home. Four babies later (of which I will freely admit to having a sitter help me out over the years), a divorce, and an ex husband with severe depression who almost died, tends to put a bit of a crimp on going out job hunting. Not to mention that I would NEVER expect an employer to tolerate my having to come and go at any given time. With all five of my kids at school now, life has not gotten any easier. I find I'm actually more busy now than ever before.
I am NOT a person who makes excuses or complains. I am extremely organized and I get the job done. Whatever it is. I cannot compare my life to moms that leave their homes and families to bring home a paycheck. That would be absurd. But the same holds true for the reverse. A working mother should in no way compare her day to mine, as if my time were any less important or ill spent. I do more in one day than most can even imagine. I have learned a valuable lesson being a mother. Every mother, working outside the home or not, needs to take time for themselves. Every therapist, every self help book, every true friend will urge moms to do this. I learned that the hard way. I yelled at my kids and let it effect my marriage for years when I didn't. I found an outlet five years ago and I stick to it the best I can. To criticize me or look down on me for taking an hour or two out of my day to regroup so that I can be a better mother, friend, daughter or girlfriend turns my stomach.
Don't judge until you have walked a mile in someone elses shoes. Life is NOT easy for anyone. Everyone has some challenge they are trying to overcome. But to think that anyone's time is less valuable because it isn't the way you would use it makes you ignorant and less compassionate as a human being toward others.
My horoscope said that this is the year to be less critical and more forgiving- not just with others but also with yourself. I will not apologize for the life I have chosen, nor do I have any regrets. I do the best I can for myself and my family and at the end of the day have no problem looking myself in the mirror. It's time others around us let go of the "should have, would have, could haves" we bestow onto one another and just live our own lives.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
From The Mouths of Babes
Well now that the holidays are gone and my hair pulling, biting, name calling, Santa didn't bring me what I wanted children are back at school, I can get back to my dull life of cooking, cleaning and carting their ungrateful bums around. Wait that didn't seem to end even when they were out of school. No, it was much worse!
Playing referee for "she started it!" or "no I didn't break it, HE DID!" gets old so fast. It's really no wonder women go crazy! I am 100% convinced it was a woman who invented alcohol and chocolate! Even in the lowest of low moments amongst my children, there is always one that says something that makes you laugh so hard, you truly forget all the other garbage they rant about.
Here is THE ABSOLUTE BEST I have heard out of my children. My five year old daughters are arguing about something so I go over to investigate. One of them says to me "girls have a penis." My first thought is, here we go again! Why so many body parts??? "No, honey. Girls don't have a penis. Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina." Their little faces ponder the thought of what I just said and then one of them says, "WAIT! Girls have big boobs and fine china????? you got to be kidding me!" When I stopped laughing I corrected her pronunciation. But to this day I will always know that ALL women have big boobs and fine china! Never gets old!
Playing referee for "she started it!" or "no I didn't break it, HE DID!" gets old so fast. It's really no wonder women go crazy! I am 100% convinced it was a woman who invented alcohol and chocolate! Even in the lowest of low moments amongst my children, there is always one that says something that makes you laugh so hard, you truly forget all the other garbage they rant about.
Here is THE ABSOLUTE BEST I have heard out of my children. My five year old daughters are arguing about something so I go over to investigate. One of them says to me "girls have a penis." My first thought is, here we go again! Why so many body parts??? "No, honey. Girls don't have a penis. Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina." Their little faces ponder the thought of what I just said and then one of them says, "WAIT! Girls have big boobs and fine china????? you got to be kidding me!" When I stopped laughing I corrected her pronunciation. But to this day I will always know that ALL women have big boobs and fine china! Never gets old!
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