Stay At Home Mom

I'm going to apologize ahead of time for the rant I'm about to unleash. But I have truly had about all I can take with people criticizing and looking down on moms that choose to stay home with their children.

I have the utmost respect for women who go to work and raise a family. I find the time constraints put on these women daunting and unimaginably taxing both physically and mentally. That being said, I find it sickening that there is a total lack of respect for those that stay home. I have been without a "real" job for almost 12 years. However, my other job kicked into full force 10 years ago when I had my first child. At that point I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home. Four babies later (of which I will freely admit to having a sitter help me out over the years), a divorce, and an ex husband with severe depression who almost died, tends to put a bit of a crimp on going out job hunting. Not to mention that I would NEVER expect an employer to tolerate my having to come and go at any given time. With all five of my kids at school now, life has not gotten any easier. I find I'm actually more busy now than ever before.

I am NOT a person who makes excuses or complains. I am extremely organized and I get the job done. Whatever it is. I cannot compare my life to moms that leave their homes and families to bring home a paycheck. That would be absurd. But the same holds true for the reverse. A working mother should in no way compare her day to mine, as if my time were any less important or ill spent. I do more in one day than most can even imagine. I have learned a valuable lesson being a mother. Every mother, working outside the home or not, needs to take time for themselves. Every therapist, every self help book, every true friend will urge moms to do this. I learned that the hard way. I yelled at my kids and let it effect my marriage for years when I didn't. I found an outlet five years ago and I stick to it the best I can. To criticize me or look down on me for taking an hour or two out of my day to regroup so that I can be a better mother, friend, daughter or girlfriend turns my stomach.

Don't judge until you have walked a mile in someone elses shoes. Life is NOT easy for anyone. Everyone has some challenge they are trying to overcome. But to think that anyone's time is less valuable because it isn't the way you would use it makes you ignorant and less compassionate as a human being toward others.

My horoscope said that this is the year to be less critical and more forgiving- not just with others but also with yourself. I will not apologize for the life I have chosen, nor do I have any regrets. I do the best I can for myself and my family and at the end of the day have no problem looking myself in the mirror. It's time others around us let go of the "should have, would have, could haves" we bestow onto one another and just live our own lives.