Barbie and Ken

No words can can express my shock when I walked into my room, years ago, and found Barbie and Ken in a very compromising position. My immediate response was to find my camera. Mind you it was hard to take a picture through all the tears and laughter. I wanted to make sure I captured this moment to remind my children of the hell they put me through. Or maybe what I put THEM through! Surely they learned this somewhere...

For years I thought I was the only one subject to such a sight. That was until last night. Just after 11pm my cell phone chimed. What idiot wanted me at this hour you ask? None other than my girlfriend from Arizona. Because of the time change, I slipped her a small break. Curiosity had me, so I grabbed my phone to see what she wanted. I was met with a picture of Barbie and Ken partially clothed, laying down, with a cat between his legs and his hand on her boob. The message that followed said, "not sure where daughter learned this. Was clearly NOT from her mom and daddy!"

Naturally I was quick to respond with my own photo and a message stating, "not sure where they learned it either!" We both agreed that our "friends" the whores taught them! After a half hour of laughter and another glance at her photo, I was absolutely convinced that her daughter had indeed learn from her parents. Being the wonderful, honest friend that I am, I pointed out the obvious. The cat. Had it not been for the cat strategically placed between the legs of Ken, I would have never thought twice. I asked her where the dog and the fish were in the whole scheme of things? Or her husbands sleep apnea mask? Ah romance....WHERE????? Gone, gone, gone.

I listen to the morning shows when I sit down with my coffee to write. If I have to hear one more sex therapist say that couples should schedule dates, romance, or sex I may actually hurl my coffee mug at them. Why? Because unfortunately they're right. How sad is it that as adults we have to sneak around like crazy sex starved teenagers just to get a little action? If I give my boyfriend a kiss in front of my kids they fall apart with a HUGE "EW MOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!" Even a hug has them snickering. Sad, truly sad. That is until you twist it around! If there is one thing I can do, and do well, it's find some humor in the mundane.

Remember when you used to sneak around as a teenager? Making out in the bathroom at a party. Parking in the pouring rain on an old dirt road? Asking some random hot guy to go home with you? Oh wait! That was my "friend". The point is, it was fun! It was risky and it felt good! Why not sneak around with your hubby or boyfriend? My boyfriend and I do it all the time. And guess what? I haven't had this much fun since I was a teenager! Neither has he! Maybe those crazy therapist do know what they're talking about. Maybe they don't. But this time I'm listening! AND taking notes. I mean honestly, what's the worse that can happen??? Another Barbie and Ken show? Or getting caught in the act? Whatever! I'm not going to sweat it. Believe me, with five kids I have no doubt in my mind that at some point I'm going to go, "EW!!!!" and have a good snicker too! I said before that the world would be a whole hell of a lot happier if we all got out our old photos. Well guess what? The world would be a whole hell of a lot happier if we all stopped worrying about what everyone, including our kids, thought and just had some fun! Act stupid, be crazy, laugh, hug, and make out like crazy! Not only does it make you smile but it makes you feel good about yourself! More importantly, good old Barbie and Ken won't be the ONLY ones having the fun!