Boobs

I figured the title alone would get your attention. I mean who doesn't love boobs? My kids, all of them, are obsessed with them. It's actually quite strange. But I suppose when you're inundated with them daily, you tend to be a tad curious.

There is zero privacy in my home. ZERO. Locks mean absolutely NOTHING on doors. In fact, a locked door is an invitation to beat the door down or find ANY object to shove in and unlock it. My mother used to say to me whenever I was losing it, "just go lock yourself in the bathroom." Yeah right! If I wanted peace, that's the last place I'd hide. After five kids, a dog, and cats, I have lost all the dignity I have ever held. Everything is a free for all at my house.

My oldest daughter is TRYING very hard to retain whatever she has left herself. She's 11 and at that stage where everything is private. Fine! I envy her attempt at some. I may even be bordering on jealous. I'm not sure how she did it. Did she beat her brothers and sisters into submission? or did her screaming at them alone scare them off? I'm not sure. Either way. It seems to be working for her. Sigh...

Let me put it this way. We are the house of naked. My friends have always said I'd take my clothes off anywhere, anytime. So it's no wonder my children are the same. I suppose there should be a point where it's considered inappropriate to be parading around with nothing on. I've learned to just accept it. Fighting it only creates more problems. For example, the second you start to take your clothes off, it never fails, someone comes around the corner. The second you sit down to go to the toilet, someone comes in. The second you get on the phone, someone has a thousand questions. It's never ending. It's like a signal goes off somewhere in the house and everyone comes running. I've even been in the shower and my son and his friend came waltzing in. Why? Why? Why?

So when my daughters got off the bus the other day and said my nine year old son was looking at BIG BOOBIES on his friend's Nook, I barely batted an eye. First of all, he's nine. If he weren't curious about boobs, I'd be concerned. Second, with a mom, a house full of sisters, and naked Barbies everywhere, it's hard not to see them. You'd think he'd be bored with them already. My boyfriend of course reminded me that boobs are NEVER boring. How did I handle it? Well first of all I laughed. Which of course embarrassed the hell out of him. Then I told him that I wasn't mad, that it was perfectly natural to be curious. Finally, the adult in me popped out and said, "where did he get the pictures?" Turns out they were in a magazine that his dad had subscribed to. UGH, figures! Damn bus! But what can you do? I get running magazines with all kinds of girls half dressed in spandex. I can't imagine it was Playboy, but who knows. I just reminded him that I wasn't mad, that it was OK, but that if he got caught on the bus looking at them he'd be in a lot of trouble. So knock it off! He smiled and walked away.

For as long as I live, I will never understand boys and their obsession with boobs. Then again, it's my daughters too! "OOOOO look! She had big boobies!" I suppose when you're six, all the boobies you see are BIG! Ah well, chalk it off to yet another of life's funny moments. Please, please don't let me forget this! I can't wait to remind ALL of them of these stories, in front of their own children! Isn't it funny how life always comes full circle?? MHHHHHHHH!!!